hair dye. i love it. within 10-25 minutes your entire appearance can change. your attitude can change. how people view you can change. it's a pretty cool thing.
what cannot change, however, is you. yes, you change on the outside...but your personality...the very fiber of who you are doesn't change. this sounds like something we all should know. but it really struck me today. yeah, i'm a fan of changing my outward appearance. i do it every 3-4 months. but i usually stay within the same color scheme. when i was a kid i wanted my hair darker, like the color of my mom's. this summer i've really want to go lighter. so i did. i got some sun-in and had an amazing sun-streaked/sun-kissed look.
...then i saw something i did not like on facebook and i decided that instead of facebook stalking i was going to dye my hair. now, the night before i saw this news, i was considering going back to my chocolate brown color. the pictures i was looking at though, were from when i was dating this guy. so i associated that color (which was my favorite by the way!) with this dude. so when the next morning i saw this news (that involved him) i decided it was time for a change. one of my friends went with me to Target and we looked at colors. i seriously thought about going dark. i love the darker look. it works for me. but then again i wanted to go more blonde...
....so we grabbed a box that said medium golden neutral blonde. not sure how it would turn out...but i was up for a change....
i like it. i really do. but it's not me. the color looks good and people are complimenting it. but i'm not feeling it. it isn't me. something in me just doesn't gel with it. i'm not a blonde/copper girl. the color is actually close to what it was when i was a kid which is fun.
except that i'm not a kid anymore. and i don't want to run from who i was in spring of 2010. i really liked that person. and i liked her hair color. it was like changing my hair color was going to change who i was...or at least help me run away from who i was...and the memories of the dude. but it didn't. if anything, i've learned more about who i am this summer. a lot of good things happened. i've built on who i am and who i've become. and in some weird way, that person is a brunette. maybe it's because i perceive that as a "grown up" color? i don't really know. and i'm pretty sure a psychologist would be having a hay day with my thoughts on this. haha.
either way, i am still the same person...and no matter how hard i try or how many times i change my hair color, i will always be that person. i like who i am and i don't want to run away from who i am. so, if you think about it, this is a pretty big thing. a sign that i'm doing better.
oh and what color did i go with? this one.
