can't shake it

thought: ever had a thought that won't leave you alone?

i feel as if i'm supposed to write, but what, i don't know. i've had this thought the past 24 hours about holding your thoughts captive. my pastor mentioned it in church yesterday and it won't leave me. it's been ringing in the back of my mind: hold your thoughts captive. you can do it. take hold of them.

but i'm not sure what that means exactly.

dictionary.com: captive
noun:
1) a prisioner
2) a person who is enslaved or dominated; slave: He is the captive of his own fears.

oh snap. did they really just use that word...

fears

i don't deny that i'm scared of the dark or being home alone. or that i'm worried about my health. i will deny it, if you ask me, that i dwell on those thoughts.

but the truth is that i do. i let them get the best of me. i've written before about taking control over my fears and i try. but for some reason, they keep getting the best of me.

you know, i've grown up in a Christian household. i can quote the verses about not having a spirit of fear. my mom used to say them to me all the time. i told her a while back how much that meant to me and that i still quote them to myself.

the new series we're doing with the kids at church is called 10 for life. they are the top 10 verses every kid should know. as i was looking over the list, i realized that i'm familiar with pretty much all of them. some of them are ones we learn the first day of Sunday School (John 3:16). others are ones we learn to lean on when we get older/more mature (2 Chronicles 7:14).

do you know how cool it is to quote scripture?

while watching the royal wedding ( I know, I know, I'll let it go eventually!) there was a few times where portions of the Bible were read. without thinking about it, i started quoting along with the people reading. i didn't think anything about it until later. i actually knew what they were quoting and very naturally started saying it. just as if i were singing my favorite song. i didn't become proud but i was impressed with myself for knowing the verses.

a few days later, at small group, i was asked to look up a passage and read it for the group. without thinking and without hesitation, i quoted the passage while turning to it. i wasn't doing it to be proud or to show off but simply because the words came flowing out of my mouth as soon as i heard the reference. the group looked at me, slightly shocked, i think, and i suddenly became embarrassed. i didn't want to seem pompous or holier than thou. i couldn't stop myself from saying it.

how much Scripture do i know? i mean, i can tell you some stories from the Bible. and can list some themes that are mentioned. but when it comes down to straight-up passages, i wouldn't do so well.

if you gave me the reference and maybe the first few words of those 10 for life verses i would be able to quote some and paraphrase the rest. i don't "know" all of them per se.

and i think, that is my problem. i read my Bible and spend time with the Lord but when was the last time I actually hid the Word in my heart? i haven't committed scripture to memory since high school. (thanks to the following: Awanas, M'Pact/Missionettes, helping my brothers with JBQ/TBQ)

my thoughts are taken captive by things i worry about not by things that bring me joy. God brings me joy. He brings me peace. He is where my mind should be dwelling. the things of this world are temporary. the stuff i worry about is legitimate to a point but it won't last forever.

last time my mind was in this place, these words came to me. i knew i had to share them and i figure they are worth sharing again:

if He was with Daniel, Noah, and Jonah. if He gave sight to the blind and made the lame walk. if His eye is on the smallest of things, then i know that He is with me and i have nothing to fear.

i posted it on facebook. one of my aunts commented on the status. she use Scripture (of course!):

cast all your cares on Him for He cares for you.

she also reminded me that God is in control. it doesn't matter if i am dealing with fear or worry. He is there to hold me up.

(let me take a moment to brag about my family! aren't they amazing?? i am blessed!)

so i've figured that in addition to making people feel special (to read about that, click here) i am going to also start committing scripture to memory. i think that if i can memorize the words of the One who gives me joy and if they are continually in my mind, that will make a difference. i'm still going to continue to pray about this. i know that He wants to best for me and i'm pretty sure that includes my thoughts being about Him and not stuff that will eventually fade away. i want to shake this thing. 

i think i will start with the list we're giving the kids.

Proverbs 3:5-6

John 3:16

2 Chronicles 7:14

Isaiah 40:30-31

Joshua 1:9

Matthew 22:37-39

Philippians 4:13

Matthew 6:33

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

John 14:6

if you're reading this, i would encourage you to look up these verses. and, if you dare, memorize them. or write them down and put them somewhere you will see them often. 

i'm not sure what is taking you captive today, but i know Someone who has more in store for you than you will ever know. He wants to give you everything but can't if you hold yourself back. i know how hard it is to let Him in and give it up. i'm in the middle of it too. but i am also tired of not sleeping at  night because i'm worried about tomorrow. 

let tomorrow bring what it may. you have Someone on your side who loves you and is here to hold you up. grab on to His promises. cling to His words. commit them to memory. take control of your thoughts. you are more than a conquerer. 

princess? me?

thought: at some point in time, every girl wants to be a princess, for at least a day.


if you're reading this, it's either because you're an actual reader of the blog or because you saw me post this on facebook. no matter how you found it, chances are you know me personally. if not, then read a post or 2 and you will get a taste.


for those of you who know me, you know that in recent years i have undeniably become a hopeless romantic. i may not be the most hopelessly romantic person you know. but i love a good love story...a true love story. i have become, in recent years, quite a fan of hearing how people met. some of them are funny stories, other are filled with heartache. they all have happy endings though. i will sit down and cry at a chick flick. or get lost in a nicholas sparks novel (and yes, cry at the end of that too!).


another thing i also really enjoy doing is flipping through wedding magazines or watching something on tv about them. there is something about looking at the colors; picking out the dress, shoes, jewelry; tasting the cake; decorating the reception site and seeing people so crazy in love that i am drawn too.


it could be the storyteller in me. it could be the party/event planner part of my brain. and i'm not going to lie, i take notes. i have some ideas swirling around for my own wedding day.


most girls think about that day. some have it totally planned well before it happens.i seriously know girls who have notebooks already full of ideas. i don't have a notebook but i have some mental notes. 


one thing i know, is that no matter where i get married or the style of the dress, that one day will be my day to be a princess. as little girls running around playing dress up, we don old prom dresses, find something the be  a tiara and a scepter and we rule the world (namely our bedrooms!). then as we get older, the prom dresses are new, our hair gets done and we set out to rule prom night. somewhere between prom and getting married, we catch a glimpse of a wedding gown.


they are the gown to end all gowns.


we start to think about our wedding gown. what it will look like, how it will flow down the aisle, what shoes to  go with it. this day has got to blow all of the days out of the water. seriously. and while i know not every girl thinks specifically about their wedding day prior to being engaged, i am certain every girl has at one time or another dreamed about being a princess. maybe not princess for a lifetime, month, or even a year. but a day at least. and after the royal wedding of Kate Middleton and Prince William last friday (4/29/11) i am even more certain that being a princess is on the minds of girls everywhere. young and old.


i watched the royal wedding and all of the coverage before and after. it was an amazing thing to see. it blew every episode of my fair wedding out of the water. well, maybe not. i've seen some amazing things on that show. David Tutera is good at what he does. 


and he makes his brides feel like a princess.


i've spent so much time on this post that i've forgotten my original intent for writing it...


let's see...hopeless romantic...wedding tangent...all girls want to feel like princess...


oh yeah, i remember. 


being a princess means feeling special. the wedding day is an example. and so is playing dress up as a little girl. we do it to feel special...well, and because of the amazing clothes we couldn't normally get away with wearing. 


last week, someone made me feel pretty special. they sent me flowers. not just flowers. but roses. to me. at work. and there were a lot of them. i felt like a princess. i felt special. i blushed.


a lot. 


and i still do when i think about it. 


you never know what is going to make someones day. we all want to be appreciated and to feel special. i'm not so sure we do that enough to each other. sure, we do it on birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, and what not. but what about the rest of the time? i know i'm guilty of not showing enough appreciation to those i care the most about. feeling that way last week (and yes, i'll admit, it was my birthday) made me realize how good it felt to know that someone cared. it was a good feeling. a feeling i should pass along more often.


princess me? oh yes. 


making someone else feel the same way? my newest goal.