sometimes you should sweat the small stuff

NOTE: this was written April 30, 2009. For some reason, I saved it as a draft. I was going to come back and finish it but I don't remember what else i was going to say! So here it is, actually posted on June 6th.

thought: one seemingly insignificant moment can change your life forever.



i wrote yesterday about choices and how they not only affect the person making the choice but those around that person. today i was thinking about moments and how even the most minute events can sometimes have the largest affect.

what are some of these things?

hitting car brakes too fast..or too slow
not smiling at the grocery store clerk. or for that matter being a plain jerk to them.
not saying good-bye
saying "i love you"
saying "i love you" too soon or too late
having a slight pain and not going to the doctor
falling down
giving a child a hug
helping those around you with simple tasks, like getting something from the top shelf



i think the point is proven. it's the small stuff that sometimes counts the most. though, that does contradict that saying "don't sweat the small stuff". i think there are times when that is applicable.

i don't want to go cliche' and say to live every moment as if it were your last. but i think that we all could me more conscious about things...just like with our decisions. if we all were a bit more conscious i think some small improvements would start being made. they may not be seen in my generation but maybe, one day my children will live in a better world.



...perfect example.....my family recycles. mom recently told us though that she doesn't recycle for her, dad, or even us kids, but she is thinking about her grand kids. she recycles for them. it is something so small and simple that it is almost stupid...but it is making an impact.



so, dare i say "dear reader"?...no....so, make every moment count and don't forget to laugh when its time to laugh...even when it isn't time to laugh, do it anyway. and cry when it's time to cry...happy tears, sad tears, whatever. just live your life. you never know when you may end up unable to do the simple things like open a water bottle or tie your shoe..heck, you never know when you may end up in a situation where you are unable to speak or talk.



like that popular phrase says "live. laugh. love." and remember that sometimes it is alright to unconsciously sweat the small stuff.

quotes

thought: am i living in the past, present or future?



i have many e-mail addresses. one of them is an account used for school. on the homepage, we get a quote of the day. this is today's quote:

We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that we begin to see the present only when it is already disappearing. - R. D. Laing

according to wikipedia, he was a Scottish psychiatrist who wrote on mental illness. but you cannot believe everything you see on there.

anyway, am i living for today, tomorrow, or yesterday? or what about this question? am i living for heaven here on earth or am i only looking forward to it once i die and get there?

time goes by fast and each decision made should be looked at as the most important one you make. the outcome could be either good or bad. simple as that right? there is no gray...only black and white. unfortunately it seems like more and more gray is becoming the norm. black and white are running together to make way for a bland color with no definition or brightness. i think it's sad. where have the absolutes gone?

that being said, i am going to work on making all of my decisions count.....

(I am going to also take this time to let you know that the colonoscopy sweepstakes commercial is on again)

....each time i am about to decided on something i am going to take the time to think about who is going to be affected by that decision. will it be good or bad? how will their outcome affect me? another thing to think about is how is it going to affect me? sometimes i make decisions where the outcome will be for the better of the other person and will place me on the out and out. i would hope that people would think like me and do the same thing so that i could benefit. i am learning that the world does not think like i do. harsh reality? nah. quite the learning experience.

i was watching one of my favorite shows last night, my boys. in it, the main character PJ (a girl) made a bet with her best friend Brenden. she was going to make all of his choices for an entire week and at the end they were going to see if his quality of life improved. throughout the show, the choices PJ makes do improve Brenden's life. at the end of the show, however, he runs off with some chick and comes back having almost died or something. he says that making that decision was the best one of his life...or something to that affect.

goes to prove that right choices for some people are only right for them.

so how do i make my choices count? in this world where black and white are turning into gray, it is hard to walk that line between doing what you think is right and sharing your opinions and stuffing your opinions down peoples throats. i am not sure that i can do much to impact the world. but i can start with those around me. i can choose to make decisions that count and to be a woman of integrity. that is my life's goal at 23 years of age.

with that, i am off to make choices that will change me. change my friends. change my work...church...school...city...well, i don't want to get too big but maybe something small that i do will change the world.

and yes, i recently had a birthday. it was nice. i didn't make a big deal out of anything. it was a great day.

i'm not too great at this

Thought: I really should blog more.

there is a commercial out there, Nationwide Insurance I think, it says that life comes at you fast. they could not be more right. life has been coming at me fast. i hadn't realized that it has been over a month since i last updated. it's not that i have been avoiding the blog but i have been in the fast lane of life. my fast lane is a bit different than the one described by the Eagles in their song "life in the fast lane". my fast lane is an 80mph only lane full of writing papers, reading books about things of the past, and working. what isn't taken up by those things is spent hanging out with my friends or at home...doing nothing...except reading more...and that is usually the books i should be reading for school. i am finding that i want to spend more and more time at home just relaxing.

i think it's a sign of old age...except for the fact that i am not old enough to say that. there are days, however, that my brain and body will beg to differ. a few weeks ago, for example, i went to around 8pm. actually it was more like i fell asleep watching "Casablanca". but in my defense, i know of a few other people who did the same thing that weekend.

this past weekend on the other hand is a different story. i was definitely asleep by 8:30pm friday night and i slept until 10:30am saturday...after my alarm went off at the usual time for work! i then spent the remainder of saturday either sleeping or reading...gosh i sound like a bum!

oh well, what can ya do?

right? i mean, i should be in my "prime" right now...shouldn't i? according to society i should. but then again, isn't 30 the new 20? or is it the other way around? the point i am trying to make is that people are acting younger and younger for their age. thank you MTV, Vh1, and all of those reality shows. granted, a guilty pleasure for me is watching cheesy reality shows because i get a kick out of the scripted moments and voice overs that make you think they are happening at that exact moment....yes, i analyze them. it it highly entertaining.

what was my point again? life grabs you by the horns? no, that is a dodge commercial...oh yes, life comes at you fast...which come to think of it, is an Allstate thing not Nationwide. oh well, that is what google is for.

life comes at you fast. am i prepared? sure....i think. to be even more prepared i am finding that i should do more and more like i did the past few weekends. relax and take care of myself. both things that i hardly ever do. i have a tenancy to take care of other people and to always be on the run. while it is fun, it is fun for only a little bit. i am quickly realizing that i cannot do this forever. there are other things more important than being the social butterfly of every event.

speaking of being the social butterfly, thursday night, i bounced around between some friends houses and birthday parties. it was a lot of fun and i definitely felt like my "old" self...you know, the social butterfly who is always bubbly, laughing, and some how in the center of every conversation (how that happens i don't quite know, but i am taking notes on myself to figure out how i do it...fun stuff!). thursday night i donned a ball cap and was off to grab some coffee, play rock band, and wish a friend "happy birthday". it was great. i saw several of my friends and a few who i haven't seen in a while. i loved it.

then come friday and saturday. we already know what i did then.

come sunday. saw more people i hadn't seen in a while and then....

......i need to stop and say that CBS is having a colonoscopy sweepstakes. they are giving one lucky winner a free colonoscopy and a nights stay in some fancy hotel...at least i think that is what the ad said. i was too shocked by the "colonoscopy sweepstakes" part that i lost the rest of the ad.

wow. anyway. welcome back....

sunday, i saw more old friends and had an amazing day. that night i was with tons of people my own age and i was being "myself". what does that mean? simply put: i was cracking corny jokes and laughing a lot...but not at my own jokes, i won't fall that low :D

so, when life comes at me fast what do i do? kick back for a coupla days and then jump back in. i cannot be in the slow lane for long. i get bored and find that i am longing to be back in the other lane pressing the accelerator to the floor.

no matter which lane i am in though, i should keep the blog updated. i constantly come across things that make me think "hey, i should blog about that". maybe i will be the next big blogger. then i could get an agent, make guest appearances at places i'd rather not be but since they are paying me to be there i'll go and eventually i will get a book deal. the first book being something that "they" want me to write...followed by one written by me and co-written by someone slightly more famous than i am...then there is the third and beyond. all written by me. now big shot blogger and major author.

talk about life coming at you fast.