last time i wrote, my great-grandmother had been dead for 10 days and in 7 days i would be at her memorial service. she was an amazing woman, anyone who met her would agree. she meant a lot to many. the church was filled with people who shared stories about her life, her character and her impact.
here's mine:
it was Christmas 2007 and i was 21 years old. we were at mom's cousin's house. 2 of mom's siblings were there, her parents, aunts and uncles. the house was full...and things were chaotic in the living room. between the Wii, nerf guns, and games of tag the living room was a happening place. Gram made her way in there, how no one remembers, but she did. She planted herself on the couch and watched us. I saw an opportunity to have a moment with her. i'm named after her. my middle name is her first name and i also inherited her nickname. somehow i knew that this would be the last time i saw her alive. we sat on the couch, i protected her from some flying nerf darts and we had this conversation:
Gram: how old are you?
Me: 21.
Gram: do you have a boyfriend?
Me: (thinking: I saw this coming! I know where it's going) Nope.
Gram: Good. You're young, you don't need one. Don't do what I did. Go live your life. You have a long time to be married. Do things while you're young.
just like that the moment was over. I actually have a picture of us sitting on the couch where we talked. it was taken just before our conversation. i cried myself to sleep that night. it was the last memory i have of her and definitely the best one.
i figured that since i was going to travel 3,000+ miles for a memorial i would take some time to spend with family i never see. so i stayed for a week. so many memories were made. jokes that will last a lifetime are forever etched into my mind. when i see the pictures i laugh, cry, and think about my time spent "back home".
we were able to go to the house where my grandparents lived when i was born. i spent my infant and toddler years in this house. i see pictures and remember things that happened there...but driving down the road, seeing the house...and walking through the house (the owners remembered my grandparents and let us go inside!) brought it all back. again, we laughed, cried and took pictures. there is one picture of my aunts, mom, and myself from Christmas of 1986. we were next to the Charlie Brown Tree (called that because it was barely decorated and the ornaments were only on the top half of the tree. apparently I liked to pull them off!) in the living room. as soon as we all walked back into that room we went to the spot where the tree was, lined up how we were in the picture and took another one. why? because it was a good memory. who would get the chance to be in the same room from 24 years earlier with the same people? we seized the moment.
in fact, we seized several moments. pictures were taken left and right. jokes were always being made. serious conversations were being had. it was the first time i had been around family and felt like an adult. (compared to when i was there in 2001) things were different between me and my family. having the pictures and still laughing at the jokes are things to hold dear from that trip. it was really cool cooking in the kitchen with my grandma and actually wanting to be in there so i could learn a thing or two. i loved sitting on the couch laughing about nothing with my aunts...or sitting across from one of them in my pj's filling her in on my dating life and getting advice. there was definitely something special when i thought my grandpa was going to arrange a marriage for me. my favorite moment though? does an entire day spent in the downtown of my favorite city count? i was able to see my favorite sports team...do some killer shopping...earn a fantastic nickname...and laugh with 3 of the most amazing women in my life. it's something i'll treasure for a long time.
my memory bank is far from full...yet it is far from empty. every day is filled with moments that can be treasured for a lifetime. it doesn't have to take a special trip across the country to make something special. i carry a camera around to snap pictures of the everyday, not so epic moments. those are the ones that stop us in our tracks and make us realize what life is about. some of my favorite family photos are the ones where we're in the loft sprawled on the couch watching tv or playing video games. that is what my family does. it's who we are. those moments are just as important as the big ones at holidays or birthdays.
try to remember the smaller, every day moments. they just may hold something special.
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