relationships. we can't live with them and we can't live without them. funny right? i think so. when writing, relationships are the main thing i write about. not only guy/girl relationships but family and friend relationships. very interesting stuff.
recently, i decided that i should write a book...but then again, who doesn't want to write a book, play, novel, screen play, blah blah blah. my book is going to be better though (HA!). seriously. it's going to be about relationships. i based my opinion on the fact that people ask me for relationship advice (or maybe i am giving it freely?). i came to this conclusion one night after talking to a friend for a while about a guy that she really enjoys being around. when i walked through the door of my house i laughed and proclaimed that i was going to write a book about relationships. one member of my family, as dry and flat as can be, said right back to me "well that's funny considering that you aren't in one." you may think that sounds harsh, but the delivery was hysterical! i've found that several relationship books (about dating) are written by single people. why? i don't know...but i can tell you why i'd do it.
i am a people watcher. i fully enjoy watching people interact with each other. seeing responses to actions is very exciting. you may think it sounds dull. maybe it is something i acquired? you see, i have had some assignments which require me to watch people and write a character sketch of them. been doing this since high school. go somewhere, watch a person and write down everything they do. sounds sketchy right? it probably is, but if you're good at it, then you can get some pretty amazing stuff like speech patterns or specific phrases. maybe even the way a person walks. great stuff!
so how does this play into my relationship book? well, with all of the lists out there about "50 things every guy should do for their girl" or "63 things every man loves" combined with people watching, i think i could have a new york times best seller. and so far, i haven't steered any one wrong when they ask (or i give!) my opinions. now, if they choose not to listen, well, that's a different story. haha.
really though, it just takes common sense. having read several of these lists and other books that is the biggest thing i've learned. what are the major keys to making something work? i will give them to you....(even if you didn't ask for it)
- be your self - this is the most important. don't change for the person you are trying to impress/get to like or notice you. it's a turn off. big time.
- don't talk so much - remember to listen...actively. girls like to talk and most guys will tune out. so give and take people. girls don't talk so much and guys listen when she does.
- stay away from talking about your exes - not a cool thing. no one wants to hear you talk about how you got dissed by the last person you dated...or how you dissed them. it's just a bad thing.
- did i mention being yourself? really. be confident and who you are around your friends...unless of course, you are still trying to figure out who you are. in which case, you probably should not be thinking about dating. seriously. that is a whole other blog....
granted, it's not as simple as this, but these are some really good foundations. respect and trust play big in to relationships...but those are built by getting to know someone and you get to know someone by being yourself. which brings up the one thing that plagues my mind. how is it that people who are so confident and know who they are are not in a relationship? i see this a lot. drives me crazy and my friends and i talk about it frequently. maybe when i figure that out, i will publish my book and make millions.....
......or maybe not.
writing a book is definitely a pipe dream. i tend to have several of those.
i can feel the rambling mode coming on...though, i'm sure i've already begun that.
more about this topic later. i will collect my thoughts and maybe have a better format.
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