Sick Thoughts

Thought: Being sick makes one think a lot...and dream some very odd things.

And here you thought that this entry would be about something dirty or nasty. Shame on you, reader, shame on you.

I have been sick the past week and a half and let me tell you, I have had lots of time to think and sleep. Both things are good for me...but I was dreaming some odd things when I was sleeping. In the two I remember the best, I was dating someone who I know I would never date...actually it was more or less a combination of several people I know rolled into one super amazing person but someone I know I could never be with. It was odd. In the other one, I dreamt this this couple had a baby..but then I forgot that they already had one...so I dreamt that they had baby number 2.

Now, those may not sound so bad, but let me tell ya, they were. I woke up after both of those dreams and really wished I could feel better instantly! They were insanely interesting.

Another thing about being sick is that your brain isn't always in the right place...I was getting words mixed up, forgetting stuff, and all of that other good stuff that comes with it. I wasn't even taking medication to make me groggy (mainly because it keeps me awake instead...hyper active much? maybe). Anyway, I really don't like being sick. Right now, I have the lingering cough. I'm sure it will go away if I sleep more.

Speaking of sleeping more, I am going to start blogging every night before bed and am going to listen to classical music while I do so. I recently read that one should journal or write or sketch or something before they go to bed to calm their brain down. I thought that sounded like the perfect thing for me to do...since my brain is always going at high speed. I forget what the classical music is supposed to do...calming maybe? I don't know, but I somehow feel more enlightened listening to it. I am currently laughing at myself though. Here I am, blogging and listening to classical..it must be a sight...especially with my dark rimmed glasses on...oh how funny life is!

Anyway, one of the things keeping me up at night is something I wrote about last time: Relationships. With all of this down time, I have been thinking more and more about them...and I have been doing some people observing.

A thought that hit me last night was this: when dating someone, shouldn't they bring out the best in you? I mean, in a relationship, neither person should compromise who they are to impress the other person...then they are becoming who they think that person wants to date, not who they actually want to date. Right? Suppose I begin dating a guy who, i don't know, likes to wear those stupid shoes with the roller skates in them. I however, had a bad fall on those one time and have sworn never to own them or use them again. What if suddenly, I being to fall back into what I know is comfortable and being using those shoes...even if I know that they are going to bust me up when I fall? Is that a good thing? Maybe...maybe not. I tend to lean toward the latter...now, some of you may not think that is a good example, but remember, I a) work with kids and b) am still sick...so give me some grace. Haha. But substitute those dumb shoes with something like alcohol or drugs. Does that make the picture more clear?

Seriously, what is the point of a relationship? Eventually, in marriage, it is to serve the Lord and to serve one another...but how can you do that if you keep falling on your butt in those dang skating shoes? You can to a point do it, but you are not giving you best. You are letting that thing hold you back. If in a, lets say "good" for lack of better words...if in a good relationship, you are encouraging, uplifting, and not pulling the other down, then you will be able to do those tasks. They are hard to do when the person you are with is constantly influencing you to be someone you are not...or worse yet, someone you hate. i just don't see the point in being with a person who makes you into someone who you don't like being...unless of course, you like falling on your butt in those shoes, then by all means, go for it....

But why? What keeps you with that person? Their looks? Charm? Their hobbies? They gave you attention and you liked it? I mean seriously, you can do better. I think I need to observe more people and write more about this.

Oh, here's something that just popped into my head about it: maybe its an insecurity issue. Those can affect you majorly. Or maybe its just that you don't know how to break the pattern of your old life. Both of those things are bad news bears. I've seen them hold people back for years.

Yes, more research is coming soon..and with that will come more writing...

And don't think this applies to dating relationships...it also applies to your friends. They sometimes have more influence over you than a boyfriend or girlfriend does.

More will come on the topic of friends too....my book sure is shaping up!