thought: as cliche' as it sounds, you really do "just know"
a friend asked me tonight to clarify something i mentioned to her the other day. i had said that i knew pretty much within the first 8 seconds of being alone with someone if it was going to work between us or not. how do i know? i'm not sure, but i just do. it is going to go one of three ways:
1. nothing at all
2. we could be great friends with potential later
3. this is totally going to work
i've had the first two several times. the last one is a bit harder to figure out, it takes more time. yet, you can easily figure out of there is something between you really quick. so that makes deciding between one and two insanely easy.
then i told her some of the things i looked for in those first few seconds:
-confidence
-body language (are they open or closed)
- are the engaged in what we are doing
- do i feel safe and protected around them, is he watching out for me
when i got home, i got to thinking more about it and decided that i was going to write some more things that help me when i'm factoring this. since i'm tired, i am just going to list them...describing them would take forever!
to be listened to and to feel like what is being said is being processed
for him not to be afraid to stand up and take the lead
to be able to have fun and be goofy
to have a good balance of both serious and meaningless conversations
to be able to laugh together and at each other
of course, i want them to be a Godly man and to lead a family like the Lord wants him to
to connect with each others family
to realize that my work is different and takes some getting used to
to minister together
to have an understanding of how each others jobs function
to have a hobby together
i think that's it...not a bad list if you ask me.
but still, how do i know? i'm not sure, i guess you find it out along the way. my friend asked me tonight how i felt about someone and i said that no red flags had gone up and that it looks like it is going okay for now. we are getting to know each other and from there we will see. i told her that the initial things were there (confidence, body language, engaged, feel safe) so that was good. but i really left her without an answer. it is different for everyone i suppose. i mean, those four things are somethings i think every woman should look for in a guy (number 5 being that he's a believer..actually that should be number one but whatever) so really that part is easy.
but when you know you know and when you don't know, you know. it's a gut feeling...unless you are in a situation where you lose all cognitive function when you are around a person...i would take that as a "you know".
what is my final suggestion? make your own list. that way you will have it set in stone...then maybe give a copy to someone you trust so that they can keep an eye out for you.
....and one more thing, try not to make the list when you have a crush. it may be a bit biased.
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Sunday, August 30, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
if i could turn back time
thought: why do fools fall in love? because they are, well, fools.
now, by the looks of this title and thought, it may seem like i am going to write about why love stinks and how i wish i could go back and re-do some relationships...but i'm not. i am going to talk about the strange things people do when they are in love...or like...or whatever with a person.
for example, i made a fool out of myself today when writing to a friend to ask them a simple question. the question was, however, about someone i am interested in so i was all jittery and could not get my thoughts straight and sounded like a blubbering idiot. why? because i am human and am not calm, cool, and collected all the time.
yes, level headed-ness goes out the door when you have a crush. or when you are in love. but when you have a crush, it almost seems like it is worse. why? let me tell you - 1) you don't know if the person feels the same way back so it's like you are having these reactions for possibly nothing and 2) well, i forgot 2 so let's move on...
if i could turn back time today, i would definitely go back and re-write that e-mail...or maybe not even send it at all. you see, when i am, uh, twitterpated? yes, thats a good word. i get frazzled and can't think...which then leads to being hesitant in decision making and once i make a decision i end up looking like a goof ball...then i realize what i did, try and go back to fix it and look even more stupid...it is a process yes.
i think we should all get one re-do a day...and if we don't use it we can keep it...like roll over minutes. that way when we mess up real bad we can pull ourselves out of it.
but then again, how much fun would that make life? i am sure that one day, i am going to tell my
children and grand-children all of my crazy stories where i wish i had a re-do but looking back at them, i'm glad i didn't because i learned something from them.
what did i learn today? never type when you are twitterpated.
HA. this just came to me...what if said person who makes me this way finds my blog? go figure that would be ironic...then i'd feel even more like a doof....oh well, this is a blog and i chose what goes on it so it would be up to me as far as the content goes.
oh well - i will keep on keepin' on...and will keep with the idea that people do crazy things when they are in love/like/ or see potential in someone. irrational things will be done and [hopefully] grace will be given.
here is to no re-dos and running with you heart not your head.
now, by the looks of this title and thought, it may seem like i am going to write about why love stinks and how i wish i could go back and re-do some relationships...but i'm not. i am going to talk about the strange things people do when they are in love...or like...or whatever with a person.
for example, i made a fool out of myself today when writing to a friend to ask them a simple question. the question was, however, about someone i am interested in so i was all jittery and could not get my thoughts straight and sounded like a blubbering idiot. why? because i am human and am not calm, cool, and collected all the time.
yes, level headed-ness goes out the door when you have a crush. or when you are in love. but when you have a crush, it almost seems like it is worse. why? let me tell you - 1) you don't know if the person feels the same way back so it's like you are having these reactions for possibly nothing and 2) well, i forgot 2 so let's move on...
if i could turn back time today, i would definitely go back and re-write that e-mail...or maybe not even send it at all. you see, when i am, uh, twitterpated? yes, thats a good word. i get frazzled and can't think...which then leads to being hesitant in decision making and once i make a decision i end up looking like a goof ball...then i realize what i did, try and go back to fix it and look even more stupid...it is a process yes.
i think we should all get one re-do a day...and if we don't use it we can keep it...like roll over minutes. that way when we mess up real bad we can pull ourselves out of it.
but then again, how much fun would that make life? i am sure that one day, i am going to tell my
children and grand-children all of my crazy stories where i wish i had a re-do but looking back at them, i'm glad i didn't because i learned something from them.
what did i learn today? never type when you are twitterpated.
HA. this just came to me...what if said person who makes me this way finds my blog? go figure that would be ironic...then i'd feel even more like a doof....oh well, this is a blog and i chose what goes on it so it would be up to me as far as the content goes.
oh well - i will keep on keepin' on...and will keep with the idea that people do crazy things when they are in love/like/ or see potential in someone. irrational things will be done and [hopefully] grace will be given.
here is to no re-dos and running with you heart not your head.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
here we are again
thought: there is no possible way to understand why things happen...you just have to have faith...
here i am again with the question of "why" or "what is going on". so many things have been popping up out of the blue and they don't make sense. i have tried to wrap my mind around them and have tried to process them but can't. that's the frustrating part, not being able to understand why or what is going on. that is when the faith part comes in. for a person who is independent and grew up doing things for herself that is the hard part. not being in control or at least having a clue as to what the plan is sucks sometimes. i mean don't get me wrong, surprises are great...but when life throws you a curve ball and there isn't a thing you can do...man oh man does that confuse the heck out of me. it is almost like it is planned...when you think you have it all figured out..BAM it changes without warning.
so the faith kicks in and you are fully dependent on the Lord. but what do you do when that doesn't seem like it's enough? cry? get mad? stop having hope? i mean really, when you are at wits end with something what do you do? when you want to be proactive about it...where do you go? who can you run to? time and time again, i have found that there is only one place to run. and when you get there, you either end up on your knees or on your face. and tears are involved but not mandatory.
i want to know why things are happening yet i don't. i like not knowing and going with it...but here lately, i have been looking up and just asking why. one of my friends put it this way "omg wtf". i don't think there is a better way to phrase things at the moment...granted life is horrible but things are popping up into mine, my families, and friends lives that make us stop in our tracks and wonder what is going on.
maybe when i figure things out i will share my secret...no, actually i won't. that wouldn't be any fun at all.
here i am again with the question of "why" or "what is going on". so many things have been popping up out of the blue and they don't make sense. i have tried to wrap my mind around them and have tried to process them but can't. that's the frustrating part, not being able to understand why or what is going on. that is when the faith part comes in. for a person who is independent and grew up doing things for herself that is the hard part. not being in control or at least having a clue as to what the plan is sucks sometimes. i mean don't get me wrong, surprises are great...but when life throws you a curve ball and there isn't a thing you can do...man oh man does that confuse the heck out of me. it is almost like it is planned...when you think you have it all figured out..BAM it changes without warning.
so the faith kicks in and you are fully dependent on the Lord. but what do you do when that doesn't seem like it's enough? cry? get mad? stop having hope? i mean really, when you are at wits end with something what do you do? when you want to be proactive about it...where do you go? who can you run to? time and time again, i have found that there is only one place to run. and when you get there, you either end up on your knees or on your face. and tears are involved but not mandatory.
i want to know why things are happening yet i don't. i like not knowing and going with it...but here lately, i have been looking up and just asking why. one of my friends put it this way "omg wtf". i don't think there is a better way to phrase things at the moment...granted life is horrible but things are popping up into mine, my families, and friends lives that make us stop in our tracks and wonder what is going on.
maybe when i figure things out i will share my secret...no, actually i won't. that wouldn't be any fun at all.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
I know I said I wouldn't ask "why"....
thought: sometimes you can't help but ask "why"
the whole having faith and completely trusting in God is very difficult. yes, i wrote about it last night but then today something happened and i can't help but wonder why it has happened and what God is going to do by it.
what's the story? well, simply put, a really amazing friend of mine has had quite the past few months. from about, maybe, April until now, several things have happened within her family that have really shaken them up. their lives have gotten thrown around. i can't help but wonder what they are thinking and how they are dealing with this...actually, i know that they are in prayer all the time and they are asking for prayer. but really, there has to be more to it right? her family is full of believers and they are trusting the Lord for provision, safety, and health...but all of this stuff keeps happening.
why? what have they done to "deserve" this? is the Lord pulling a modern day Job? how much more will they have to go through? is this an all out attack on this family and if so, what are they going to do that is so threatening?
these are some of the things going through my mind right now...so much so that i am kind of irritated right now about it all. there is no possible way we can know the Lord's plans and frankly, i don't want to know them...but i would like to know why He does things the way he does sometimes. which, i realize, my mind cannot comprehend it...but don't you think He could at least dumb it down some?
at lunch today, the conversation turned to a woman who passed away last year. it was very sudden and we will be approaching the one year anniversary of her passing in October. the table got quiet as we each remember this saint. very quickly memories flashed through each of our minds as well as the rush of emotions we all felt when we learned of her death. we didn't know why it happened. she was not that old...she was an amazing woman, one who had no enemies and never met a stranger...but watching her family, they had peace. i am sure they had questions, but they had peace. talk about fully trusting and relying on the Lord.
that is my prayer for my friend now. that her family will experience that same peace.
God is faithful. i have learned that...and He always knows what He is doing...His plans may not make sense but we know that we won't ever have to ask why He is doing something.
This song has been on my heart the past few months...along with several others about the Lord's faithfulness....i haven't been able to get enough of it this week however.
the whole having faith and completely trusting in God is very difficult. yes, i wrote about it last night but then today something happened and i can't help but wonder why it has happened and what God is going to do by it.
what's the story? well, simply put, a really amazing friend of mine has had quite the past few months. from about, maybe, April until now, several things have happened within her family that have really shaken them up. their lives have gotten thrown around. i can't help but wonder what they are thinking and how they are dealing with this...actually, i know that they are in prayer all the time and they are asking for prayer. but really, there has to be more to it right? her family is full of believers and they are trusting the Lord for provision, safety, and health...but all of this stuff keeps happening.
why? what have they done to "deserve" this? is the Lord pulling a modern day Job? how much more will they have to go through? is this an all out attack on this family and if so, what are they going to do that is so threatening?
these are some of the things going through my mind right now...so much so that i am kind of irritated right now about it all. there is no possible way we can know the Lord's plans and frankly, i don't want to know them...but i would like to know why He does things the way he does sometimes. which, i realize, my mind cannot comprehend it...but don't you think He could at least dumb it down some?
at lunch today, the conversation turned to a woman who passed away last year. it was very sudden and we will be approaching the one year anniversary of her passing in October. the table got quiet as we each remember this saint. very quickly memories flashed through each of our minds as well as the rush of emotions we all felt when we learned of her death. we didn't know why it happened. she was not that old...she was an amazing woman, one who had no enemies and never met a stranger...but watching her family, they had peace. i am sure they had questions, but they had peace. talk about fully trusting and relying on the Lord.
that is my prayer for my friend now. that her family will experience that same peace.
God is faithful. i have learned that...and He always knows what He is doing...His plans may not make sense but we know that we won't ever have to ask why He is doing something.
This song has been on my heart the past few months...along with several others about the Lord's faithfulness....i haven't been able to get enough of it this week however.
(hope this works...if not, go to youtube and search for "faithful one" by selah)
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
smile please
thought: sometimes all you have to do is laugh
have you ever had a moment or situation and you didn't know what to do with it? i have those all the time. life seems to throw them at me. there are a few things going on right now that i have no clue what to do about. my best solution? laughter.
no seriously, i love to laugh. i told someone the other day (who told me that someone else we know when asked what they think of me responded "she's full of energy") that i laugh and have fun so much because i love life. i have come across certain situations in my life that have threatened to take that away from me...i have seen it done to other people....God created this earth for us to enjoy it and i fully intended on enjoying it as much as possible. people have seen my always wanting to have a good time as immaturity or a lack of confidence. it is quite the opposite. not trying to blow my own horn but i am told all the time how mature i am...ok ok so maybe i am blowing my own horn...and i am very confident in who i am...mainly because i know who i am in Him!
tonight, i was with my small group girls and we were talking about several things...one of which being a curve that has been thrown at me. this one is pretty funny and i am amused by it. i totally want to see where it will go but i have also decided to give the entire thing up to the Lord. He has a plan for me...and past experience will tell ya that His plan is definitely the better one. but anyway...we were talking about this situation and i was cracking up over it. (what is it? well, it involves a guy and some match making...need more of a translation? they would like to match me with him...am i opposed? i won't say that on a blog :) i trust the Lord with the outcome....) this is one of those things where you can't help but laugh....
.....but what about those times when you can't laugh? when it feels like you are so deep in the valley that not even God can pull you out? well, i have been there too. in fact, there is something else going on in my life that totally has the potential to pull me down. and it did. for a couple of months, i was questioning the Lord as to why this was happening to me. then i realized that i was letting this thing win and it took away my laughter. it tried to take away my life. i didn't want to let that happen so slowly, i began to give it up. it was hard and it still is. i struggle daily with this, but i know that God has a plan. this morning someone was talking about a Tweet one of their friends posted. it said something about children never questioning God or asking Him "why" when something bad happens to them. they just go with it. that is what i want to do...in what seems to be a valley, i still want to find laughter and joy.
i've learned a lot while dealing with this. the past 9 months or so i have learned to be more dependent on other people...what does that mean? my pride has taken some blows and i have to ask for help a lot more..it's for simple stuff too, like opening soda bottles or pouring drinks. it really sucks when i am out and have to ask for help like that...or when i am not able to do an activity, simple or complex, because my hands will cramp...knees will pop....stuff like that. i have learned to chuckle at things, not out of self-pity, but because that is not my personality at all. i have always been very independent and had a "i can do it don't need no one else" attitude. it's humbling and when you learn those lessons it is easier to laugh.
i laugh a whole lot more now...probably more than i ever have in my entire life. i say it all the time, 2008 was a good year for me. it started me on a road toward change...more specifically maturing and growing up. i can see habits and character traits developing now that i will need one day when i am a wife and mother. the growing up and maturing doesn't scare me...it's knowing and recognizing it that does. why? because it's a sign that i am doing so. haha.
i know that one day i will look back, laughing most likely, at this time in my life and see how amazing it really was. i can already tell how much the Lord has done and can see why things have happened. i don't understand them and i will not ask Him "why". instead i will take delight in Him...doesn't matter if i am having a good day or bad day. i can still enjoy His creation and know that He has a plan for me.
so please, smile.
on an off note - i said that i would write more about Arts for Life...they are an organization that i stand behind 100%. they go into the hospitals and work with seriously and terminally ill children. they take the arts to them....and by arts i mean drawing, writing, painting, sculpting, photography, and music. they worked with a family at church and not only were with the child in the hospital but the siblings when they were there. i have always had a spot in my heart for children staying in the hospital. part of it is because i was one of those kids who frequented the children's hospital and so was my cousin. when i see children who are seriously ill i can only imagine what it is like for them and their families. bringing in this form of therapy is fun and opens up a way for the child to creatively express how they feel. i fully believe that anyway a child can express themselves through art should be encouraged...especially if they are going through a tough time. by working with this organization, it can "give them a break" from what is going on and allow them to be a kid...and to laugh. please, please, please visit the Arts for Life website (aflnc.org) and check them out. have some Kleenex ready because you will tear up while looking at it. they are amazing people doing amazing things. they do bring smiles to the faces of critically ill children and their families.
have you ever had a moment or situation and you didn't know what to do with it? i have those all the time. life seems to throw them at me. there are a few things going on right now that i have no clue what to do about. my best solution? laughter.
no seriously, i love to laugh. i told someone the other day (who told me that someone else we know when asked what they think of me responded "she's full of energy") that i laugh and have fun so much because i love life. i have come across certain situations in my life that have threatened to take that away from me...i have seen it done to other people....God created this earth for us to enjoy it and i fully intended on enjoying it as much as possible. people have seen my always wanting to have a good time as immaturity or a lack of confidence. it is quite the opposite. not trying to blow my own horn but i am told all the time how mature i am...ok ok so maybe i am blowing my own horn...and i am very confident in who i am...mainly because i know who i am in Him!
tonight, i was with my small group girls and we were talking about several things...one of which being a curve that has been thrown at me. this one is pretty funny and i am amused by it. i totally want to see where it will go but i have also decided to give the entire thing up to the Lord. He has a plan for me...and past experience will tell ya that His plan is definitely the better one. but anyway...we were talking about this situation and i was cracking up over it. (what is it? well, it involves a guy and some match making...need more of a translation? they would like to match me with him...am i opposed? i won't say that on a blog :) i trust the Lord with the outcome....) this is one of those things where you can't help but laugh....
.....but what about those times when you can't laugh? when it feels like you are so deep in the valley that not even God can pull you out? well, i have been there too. in fact, there is something else going on in my life that totally has the potential to pull me down. and it did. for a couple of months, i was questioning the Lord as to why this was happening to me. then i realized that i was letting this thing win and it took away my laughter. it tried to take away my life. i didn't want to let that happen so slowly, i began to give it up. it was hard and it still is. i struggle daily with this, but i know that God has a plan. this morning someone was talking about a Tweet one of their friends posted. it said something about children never questioning God or asking Him "why" when something bad happens to them. they just go with it. that is what i want to do...in what seems to be a valley, i still want to find laughter and joy.
i've learned a lot while dealing with this. the past 9 months or so i have learned to be more dependent on other people...what does that mean? my pride has taken some blows and i have to ask for help a lot more..it's for simple stuff too, like opening soda bottles or pouring drinks. it really sucks when i am out and have to ask for help like that...or when i am not able to do an activity, simple or complex, because my hands will cramp...knees will pop....stuff like that. i have learned to chuckle at things, not out of self-pity, but because that is not my personality at all. i have always been very independent and had a "i can do it don't need no one else" attitude. it's humbling and when you learn those lessons it is easier to laugh.
i laugh a whole lot more now...probably more than i ever have in my entire life. i say it all the time, 2008 was a good year for me. it started me on a road toward change...more specifically maturing and growing up. i can see habits and character traits developing now that i will need one day when i am a wife and mother. the growing up and maturing doesn't scare me...it's knowing and recognizing it that does. why? because it's a sign that i am doing so. haha.
i know that one day i will look back, laughing most likely, at this time in my life and see how amazing it really was. i can already tell how much the Lord has done and can see why things have happened. i don't understand them and i will not ask Him "why". instead i will take delight in Him...doesn't matter if i am having a good day or bad day. i can still enjoy His creation and know that He has a plan for me.
so please, smile.
on an off note - i said that i would write more about Arts for Life...they are an organization that i stand behind 100%. they go into the hospitals and work with seriously and terminally ill children. they take the arts to them....and by arts i mean drawing, writing, painting, sculpting, photography, and music. they worked with a family at church and not only were with the child in the hospital but the siblings when they were there. i have always had a spot in my heart for children staying in the hospital. part of it is because i was one of those kids who frequented the children's hospital and so was my cousin. when i see children who are seriously ill i can only imagine what it is like for them and their families. bringing in this form of therapy is fun and opens up a way for the child to creatively express how they feel. i fully believe that anyway a child can express themselves through art should be encouraged...especially if they are going through a tough time. by working with this organization, it can "give them a break" from what is going on and allow them to be a kid...and to laugh. please, please, please visit the Arts for Life website (aflnc.org) and check them out. have some Kleenex ready because you will tear up while looking at it. they are amazing people doing amazing things. they do bring smiles to the faces of critically ill children and their families.
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