you just know...

thought: as cliche' as it sounds, you really do "just know"

a friend asked me tonight to clarify something i mentioned to her the other day. i had said that i knew pretty much within the first 8 seconds of being alone with someone if it was going to work between us or not. how do i know? i'm not sure, but i just do. it is going to go one of three ways:
1. nothing at all
2. we could be great friends with potential later
3. this is totally going to work

i've had the first two several times. the last one is a bit harder to figure out, it takes more time. yet, you can easily figure out of there is something between you really quick. so that makes deciding between one and two insanely easy.

then i told her some of the things i looked for in those first few seconds:
-confidence
-body language (are they open or closed)
- are the engaged in what we are doing
- do i feel safe and protected around them, is he watching out for me

when i got home, i got to thinking more about it and decided that i was going to write some more things that help me when i'm factoring this. since i'm tired, i am just going to list them...describing them would take forever!

to be listened to and to feel like what is being said is being processed
for him not to be afraid to stand up and take the lead
to be able to have fun and be goofy
to have a good balance of both serious and meaningless conversations
to be able to laugh together and at each other
of course, i want them to be a Godly man and to lead a family like the Lord wants him to
to connect with each others family
to realize that my work is different and takes some getting used to
to minister together
to have an understanding of how each others jobs function
to have a hobby together

i think that's it...not a bad list if you ask me.

but still, how do i know? i'm not sure, i guess you find it out along the way. my friend asked me tonight how i felt about someone and i said that no red flags had gone up and that it looks like it is going okay for now. we are getting to know each other and from there we will see. i told her that the initial things were there (confidence, body language, engaged, feel safe) so that was good. but i really left her without an answer. it is different for everyone i suppose. i mean, those four things are somethings i think every woman should look for in a guy (number 5 being that he's a believer..actually that should be number one but whatever) so really that part is easy.

but when you know you know and when you don't know, you know. it's a gut feeling...unless you are in a situation where you lose all cognitive function when you are around a person...i would take that as a "you know".

what is my final suggestion? make your own list. that way you will have it set in stone...then maybe give a copy to someone you trust so that they can keep an eye out for you.

....and one more thing, try not to make the list when you have a crush. it may be a bit biased.