I wear my sunglasses all the time

thought: what are you trying to hide?

I'm sitting here watching "reality" tv and every one of these celebrities is walking around in sunglasses. All the time. I like sunglasses and have several pairs. I don't have anything against them. But wearing them all the time. Indoors. At night. On the red carpet. Shopping. Driving. Eating. In the airport.

Do they sleep in them?

Some of the things I listed are "normal" times to wear sunglasses. I guess I can understand the reason for wearing them constantly, to hide yourself. I've done it. I have some glasses that cover my face and I'll admit to throwing them on when I don't want people to recognize me.

(Man, that makes me sound like I'm up to no good!)

Honestly though, I get that they want to make their lives private. But doesn't being famous mean that people watch your every move? And if we already know it's you, why hide behind sunglasses? Doesn't really help the cause.

OH SNAP! Gotta go...someone just walked into my house and I don't want them to recognize me!

It's Getting Close!

thought: where did it go?

It's getting close to the end of the year. It's really hard to believe that Thanksgiving was yesterday! What happened to the year? Seriously!

I was thinking that since Christmas lights and trees are up, that now is as good time as any to write my end of the year blog. Granted, I know that there is still one more month left in 2010. But if something big happens, don't worry, I will write about it.

The past few years have been growing years for me. By that, I mean I've been growing up, maturing. They say that is what happens as you get older. Never thought it would actually happen though. As a kid, I didn't think about those things. Then again, as a child, I was the one who was 5 going on 17...10 going on 20. I didn't need to think about growing up because I already was "mature". HA. Oh how things change!

2010 taught me a lot about life, just like the past few years, but it also taught me about love, the power of friendship, broken hearts, and, of course, myself.

I've always been told that love is more than a feeling or the pizza you ate last night. It is a decision. A choice. I've made the decision to love my family and friends. I love my job and where my life is and has been this year. But there is a whole different aspect of love that I know nothing about...well, that's not true. In January 2010, I didn't know anything about it. Right now, in November, I know a little more. It's still not 100% but I don't think you can really know about this type of love until you're experiencing it. So, what am I talking about?

Being single and having single friends, I see people go in and out of relationships all the time. It's a hit or miss game. We're all trying, one way or another, to find the one. When we think we have found this person, we go all out. We slowly make the decision to love this person. It starts small at first and I don't think you realize what's happening. But when you do, it's like a wave rushing over you. You want to make the other person happy. You laugh when their annoying habits start becoming cute. You begin to live and breathe for that person....I think. I don't even know. Like I said, you don't really know until you're in it. I can write about what I see in people who are in love but without experiencing it, I can't fully put it into the correct words.

Still though, I saw people make the decision to love someone. It could be argued that I was on the way of making that decision. Maybe not at the same depth as other people I know, but in retrospect, it was still there. I would say that making the decision to love someone was probably easier than I thought. There wasn't an "ah-ha" moment. I found that I didn't have to change myself to fit in with them. The fact that I was me was enough.

Then again, the fact that I was myself also brought on a lot of doubt when heartbreak kicks in. It isn't easy saying goodbye to someone. You begin to think that there is some major flaw in yourself. You wonder what is suddenly wrong with you that makes someone walk away.

Heartbreak happened a lot in 2010. It happened to me, to friends, it seemed like it was everywhere. Not everyone goes through it the same way. Some people just need to talk it out, others lock themselves in their rooms. Others need to get out and live their lives.

My thought is why dwell on what is in the past? Definitely learn from it. Definitely take something away from it. But, you can't change it. So why live there? Moving on doesn't mean you forget the heartache or the memories. It means that you pick up the pieces, go back to the starting line, and take off again. Usually, there is something new to be discovered about yourself in this time. But when you live in self-pity, you aren't able to find that.

And this is where the friendships come in. Friends are there before the relationships. They are there during. And they are definitely there after. Friends are the ones who let you cry when your heart hurts. They are the ones who make you go out when you don't want to.

This year, we have laughed, cried, been mad at each other. Spent too much time together, spent not enough. Sent countless texts. Misunderstood countless texts Gone shopping. Gone to concerts. Gone on road trips. Been to the mountains, beach, and everywhere in between. If it could be done, my friends and I did it. Life was experienced in a great way this past year. I could have done some of this stuff this year without friends. But they definitely made this year more memorable.

Learning more about my character was definitely the most memorable thing of 2010. I've written a lot about this journey. It seems to be a very common theme in my blogs. But it is something I can't get away from.

At the beginning of the year, I knew that a change was coming for me. I just had no idea what. I'm still not certain if it has happened yet. But there were a few things in life that did change for me. I was thrust into new situations and had to learn how to handle myself in them. Everything I was involved with, though, made an impact how I live though.

One of the biggest things that happened this year was that I became more transparent. It's not that I had a wall up before or that I was wearing a mask. But, I had this impression that people assumed or needed me to be a strong person with no hardships whatsoever. I thought people always thought I woke up on the right side of the bed and that nothing ever goes wrong for me. My life is fairly simple. Things are generally really fantastic and bad days are few and far between. My attitude is bright and bubbly and I'm the life of the party...why and when would I ever have a bad day?

I realized the problem was that I had placed myself on a pedestal for other people. I set the expectations for myself very high. It's been a life long thing. What I learned, however, is that it is okay to have bad days. That it's alright for people to know that I do wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I don't have to have on a happy face all the time. There are times when that is really hard to do. As long as I don't dwell in the sucky attitude, I'm okay.

Another defining moment came in August. In mid-August, my great-grandmother passed away. It wasn't a surprise to the family. We'd known it was coming for sometime. The last time I saw her was in 2007. We shared a very special moment together...and I knew it would be the last time I would see her alive. Mom and I flew to Washington the last week of August for the memorial. That is where the defining moment happened...

...Okay, so it was more like a defining week.

I got there Friday morning. The memorial was Saturday afternoon and the rest of the week was spent with family. You learn a lot about yourself when you're with family. There are traits every family has. Each family has their own sense of humor, way they handle crisis, and the way they celebrate big and small events. I learned a lot about where I came from and what I was made of. It's very different being around your family as an adult. Especially when you don't see them all the time. Again, I had this expectation for myself. I thought I had to be the same person I was as a child. She was an amazing girl. I love her. But I wouldn't ever want to go back. If you could compare adolescent April with adult April, you would see the same girl in many aspects. But a grown up version in many other ways. And for that, I'm thankful. Hanging out with family for a week will show you that. They don't hold anything back. If there was ever a time when I got told how good I looked, how mature I acted, how much of a goof I still am, it was that week.

I laughed and cried that week. Cracked jokes and cooked food. Went shopping and watched tv. I came home with a sense of who I am. A sense of confidence. And a sense of style. No, really, I bought some amazing clothes that week. I think I finally figured out how to dress! (If you've ever lived with me, been on vacation with me, or been around when I'm getting ready to go someplace you know how funny this is. For those of you who haven't, I will let you know that I change at least 8 different times because I have no clue what looks decent!)

Point being, that week cemented who I've become this year. There is still work to be done and I look forward to seeing what it brings. But for right now, in November 2010, I have never been happier with who I am. I don't know if people have noticed the change this year...but I have...I am definitely leaving 2010 with a new sense of confidence.

I've been writing this for almost 3 hours now. I'm still not sold I got across what I was trying to say about love and heartbreak...then writing about myself...good grief. That's nerve wracking. Still trying to get a grasp on this being transparent thing...

Here are a few other things that happened this year...
January - Began teaching ESL until May
February - It snowed...a lot.
March - Bought my first car!!! Went from a Cherokee with over 200,000 miles on it to a Kia with 13,000miles
April - I turned 24 and the countdown to 25 began.
May - My little brother graduated high school
June/July - Had back-to-back ministry with Camp Allelu, VBS, and Kids Camp
August - Washington Trip
September - 2 year anniversary at Calvary
October - I got side bangs and died them pink for breast cancer awareness month
November - My sister got engaged!
December - Well, we will see when we get there....

I always look forward to what a new year will hold. I think 2011 is going to be a great one. The calendar is already pretty full!!!

If you've stayed with me thus far, thanks. It's midnight, my stomach is talking to me, and I'm really nervous that this rambling will seem just that....like a rambling. Maybe I'll be better at not rambling in 2011.

HA!

stripped

thought: take it off

tonight, yet again, i had someone think i was 19 or 20. i'm totally okay with that. i have good genes and am thankful for them. but it got me thinking about looks, make-up, and changing appearances.

i'm getting closer to my mid-20s and am taking better care of my skin. wear sunscreen when i'm at the beach and it's even in my moisturizer i wear every day. great step in protecting my face. i wear make-up...most days. when it's on thicker, heavier, and more noticeable, those are the days i look my age...or so people say. but i really think that it doesn't have to do with how much (or little) make-up i have on that gives away my age....

...i'm fairly certain it has to do with how much confidence i have. and this too, got me thinking. you see, while reading about the top 100 hottest single stars the other day (don't hate. it's mind numbing) it dawned on me that the average age of the stars is, well, my age. it also occurred to me that a good portion of these people have had something done to alter their appearance. i mean, i dye my hair. the color has changed a few times this year. but how much has it changed my appearance? you always know it's me. seriously, think about Heidi Montag. prior to going under the knife, she was actually pretty cute. post knife she looks totally different. she had all the crap done and now at 24, she is like a younger Joan Rivers. who wants that?

so where am i going with all this?

chill out with the make-up, botox, plastic surgery...and even the hair dye. if they make you happy, then go for it. be happy. but if they change who you are, who you were meant to be, how you look, is it worth it? try taking a step back, maybe even go a day (or 2!) without make-up. or at least, go out wearing a little foundation, powder, and some brown mascara.

i don't plan on trying to make myself look older or different just because people think i'm 20. hopefully when i'm 40, they will think i'm 30. like i said, i'm totally okay with that. seriously though, if people don't watch out, they're going to look like this guy...who wants that? not this girl!

memories

thought: memories and photos do wonders

last time i wrote, my great-grandmother had been dead for 10 days and in 7 days i would be at her memorial service. she was an amazing woman, anyone who met her would agree. she meant a lot to many. the church was filled with people who shared stories about her life, her character and her impact.

here's mine:

it was Christmas 2007 and i was 21 years old. we were at mom's cousin's house. 2 of mom's siblings were there, her parents, aunts and uncles. the house was full...and things were chaotic in the living room. between the Wii, nerf guns, and games of tag the living room was a happening place. Gram made her way in there, how no one remembers, but she did. She planted herself on the couch and watched us. I saw an opportunity to have a moment with her. i'm named after her. my middle name is her first name and i also inherited her nickname. somehow i knew that this would be the last time i saw her alive. we sat on the couch, i protected her from some flying nerf darts and we had this conversation:

Gram: how old are you?

Me: 21.

Gram: do you have a boyfriend?

Me: (thinking: I saw this coming! I know where it's going) Nope.

Gram: Good. You're young, you don't need one. Don't do what I did. Go live your life. You have a long time to be married. Do things while you're young.

just like that the moment was over. I actually have a picture of us sitting on the couch where we talked. it was taken just before our conversation. i cried myself to sleep that night. it was the last memory i have of her and definitely the best one.

i figured that since i was going to travel 3,000+ miles for a memorial i would take some time to spend with family i never see. so i stayed for a week. so many memories were made. jokes that will last a lifetime are forever etched into my mind. when i see the pictures i laugh, cry, and think about my time spent "back home".

we were able to go to the house where my grandparents lived when i was born. i spent my infant and toddler years in this house. i see pictures and remember things that happened there...but driving down the road, seeing the house...and walking through the house (the owners remembered my grandparents and let us go inside!) brought it all back. again, we laughed, cried and took pictures. there is one picture of my aunts, mom, and myself from Christmas of 1986. we were next to the Charlie Brown Tree (called that because it was barely decorated and the ornaments were only on the top half of the tree. apparently I liked to pull them off!) in the living room. as soon as we all walked back into that room we went to the spot where the tree was, lined up how we were in the picture and took another one. why? because it was a good memory. who would get the chance to be in the same room from 24 years earlier with the same people? we seized the moment.

in fact, we seized several moments. pictures were taken left and right. jokes were always being made. serious conversations were being had. it was the first time i had been around family and felt like an adult. (compared to when i was there in 2001) things were different between me and my family. having the pictures and still laughing at the jokes are things to hold dear from that trip. it was really cool cooking in the kitchen with my grandma and actually wanting to be in there so i could learn a thing or two. i loved sitting on the couch laughing about nothing with my aunts...or sitting across from one of them in my pj's filling her in on my dating life and getting advice. there was definitely something special when i thought my grandpa was going to arrange a marriage for me. my favorite moment though? does an entire day spent in the downtown of my favorite city count? i was able to see my favorite sports team...do some killer shopping...earn a fantastic nickname...and laugh with 3 of the most amazing women in my life. it's something i'll treasure for a long time.

my memory bank is far from full...yet it is far from empty. every day is filled with moments that can be treasured for a lifetime. it doesn't have to take a special trip across the country to make something special. i carry a camera around to snap pictures of the everyday, not so epic moments. those are the ones that stop us in our tracks and make us realize what life is about. some of my favorite family photos are the ones where we're in the loft sprawled on the couch watching tv or playing video games. that is what my family does. it's who we are. those moments are just as important as the big ones at holidays or birthdays.

try to remember the smaller, every day moments. they just may hold something special.

Hair Dye

thought: you can change how you look but you can't change who you are...

hair dye. i love it. within 10-25 minutes your entire appearance can change. your attitude can change. how people view you can change. it's a pretty cool thing.

what cannot change, however, is you. yes, you change on the outside...but your personality...the very fiber of who you are doesn't change. this sounds like something we all should know. but it really struck me today. yeah, i'm a fan of changing my outward appearance. i do it every 3-4 months. but i usually stay within the same color scheme. when i was a kid i wanted my hair darker, like the color of my mom's. this summer i've really want to go lighter. so i did. i got some sun-in and had an amazing sun-streaked/sun-kissed look.

...then i saw something i did not like on facebook and i decided that instead of facebook stalking i was going to dye my hair. now, the night before i saw this news, i was considering going back to my chocolate brown color. the pictures i was looking at though, were from when i was dating this guy. so i associated that color (which was my favorite by the way!) with this dude. so when the next morning i saw this news (that involved him) i decided it was time for a change. one of my friends went with me to Target and we looked at colors. i seriously thought about going dark. i love the darker look. it works for me. but then again i wanted to go more blonde...

....so we grabbed a box that said medium golden neutral blonde. not sure how it would turn out...but i was up for a change....

i like it. i really do. but it's not me. the color looks good and people are complimenting it. but i'm not feeling it. it isn't me. something in me just doesn't gel with it. i'm not a blonde/copper girl. the color is actually close to what it was when i was a kid which is fun.

except that i'm not a kid anymore. and i don't want to run from who i was in spring of 2010. i really liked that person. and i liked her hair color. it was like changing my hair color was going to change who i was...or at least help me run away from who i was...and the memories of the dude. but it didn't. if anything, i've learned more about who i am this summer. a lot of good things happened. i've built on who i am and who i've become. and in some weird way, that person is a brunette. maybe it's because i perceive that as a "grown up" color? i don't really know. and i'm pretty sure a psychologist would be having a hay day with my thoughts on this. haha.

either way, i am still the same person...and no matter how hard i try or how many times i change my hair color, i will always be that person. i like who i am and i don't want to run away from who i am. so, if you think about it, this is a pretty big thing. a sign that i'm doing better.

oh and what color did i go with? this one.

taken over

thought: getting back on track isn't easy

in my last post, i mentioned that life was taking over...well it did. a few days after that post, something happened to me that i didn't see coming. for a while, i let it take me over. i let life go on without me. i tired to get back on track.

things have slowed down since then. yet, i'm still busy as ever...but at least i'm living again. new experiences are happening every day. granted, there are still bad days. but i'm learning that those are okay too. it's part of that whole transparent thing i wrote about last time....

speaking of which, being transparent isn't easy. for being someone who has been the "strong" one and never cried in front of people this is a struggle. but i'm welcoming it. letting others know that i'm not superwoman is quite a relief.

also, i've depended on people more this past month that i ever have. yes, i'm learning how to do that too...i can't do everything by myself. but having people ask me how my day is going or noticing that i'm not up to par is really great. guess that is why we have friends to lean on.

it's my friends who are helping me get back on track. they also let me know that it's okay to stay out of the lime light for a while. that it is okay to take as much time as i need to refocus and readjust.

i still know that i'm right where i'm supposed to be...and i also know that no matter what tries to derail me, it can't. life keeps on moving and i'm right there with it.

it's a good feeling knowing i'm not letting life live me.

it's been a while

thought: sometimes life takes over

i'm pretty sure i've used that as a thought before. but it is true. life has taken over and here i am sitting here sick for the 2nd time in a month. which is funny considering that i have actually taken time to slow things down.

since march, things have been pretty hectic. and as much as life has changed, it has stayed the same. i still have the most amazing friends and family in the world and i'm still learning about myself and about life. in fact, i've felt myself changing and becoming someone else. but it hasn't been in a bad way. i'm becoming someone who is more transparent and who is realizing that they actually need other people to make it through life. more and more the past few months i've been depending on other people to help me. it hasn't been easy...but it is probably one of the best things i've ever done.

i think this past month, however, has probably been the most difficult. someone i really like moved an hour away. in the process of that we're trying to keep the relationship. it hasn't been easy but through it i've grown an awful lot. and by grown, i mean that i have spent a lot of time reading my Bible and praying. it is the only thing that let's me know we're going to be alright...well not the only thing but it definitely helps.

so where have i come from and where am i going?

well the come from part is easy. i can tell you that without any doubt. where am i going? i don't know. i thought i knew...and i'd like to say i do. but i don't. i'm taking life one day at a time and in the process i'm trying not to let life take over me...

ope my bad

thought: i was right about the changes...

well, i was pretty right about the changes. it's been a crazy month since i've written last. a ton of stuff has happened. but most importantly, i'm learning more and more about myself everyday...

...which is really overwhelming at times. it's good though.

but enough about that!

I BOUGHT A CAR!!

talk about a change. i'm pretty stoked about it and really love it. i went from an SUV to a sedan...scary at first but good. i like it a lot.

tons of other things are happening in life right now too and i could go on and on about them...but to keep from rambling, i won't :)

will do better on my blogging though!

Change is in the Air?

thought: something is coming. something that is about to rock my world



at least i think change is coming in my life. while i haven't quite figured out what it is, i have a few guesses.



tonight, while cleaning up after dinner (i've been mom for a week to 3 kids) i realized again how much i cannot wait to have my own place and my own dishes to do. there was something so, rewarding i guess, in making the kids dinner and seeing how much they liked it. then going from that to making banana splits. after the ice cream, it was straight to the dishes and laundry. then picking up some toys, backpacks, and sweeping the kitchen. i really don't mind all of it. and i enjoyed the cleaning.



what's going on with me? why, all of a sudden do i like this stuff? i was going to be the girl, who like Jennifer Lopez in Wedding Planner came home, ate a lean cuisine and worked, worked, worked. now, i can't wait to have a home, cook, clean, and do homework with the kids.



it all started in summer of 2008. all of a sudden i got this burning passion and desire to get married. never before had i wanted it so bad. i always said that i would stay single forever and be an old maid. then i guessed i would get married....eventually....but that summer, it came on strong and i knew without a shadow of a doubt that this is what i wanted. i also knew that it wasn't going to happen right away. even though, i met a guy and thought he was the one. it didn't work out...and looking back now, i can see several things that were not right in the relationship.



then, this past summer, in 2009, i got the burning desire to be a mom. i wanted more than ever before to have a child and watch them grow up. i wanted to hold my own children and take them to work to see daddy. to buy them birthday and Christmas presents they didn't need. to go on fun trips...and to embarrass them like nothing else.



and now i can tell that i'm about to change yet again. though i'm not sure what is going to happen, something big is coming. i'd like to say i can pinpoint what it is but i can't. i hate when i get this feeling because i know that something is about to happen and i don't really know what it is...drives me crazy...not knowing what's coming next. i like to plan stuff out, really i do. and i like having a direction.

yet, as i've learned in life its not about where i want to go. so i guess that means i just have to sit tight and wait.

Mended and Dependent

This is a bit different than my normal format. I wrote it last night and put it on Facebook. I though it would be fitting to post it here as well.

I know that God is faithful. Time and again He has shown that to me. I also know that He is a Healer. If you ask me what my testimony of the Lord is, I would definitely say that He is faithful and a healer. Then I would tell you countless times when He has faithfully healed someone I know. Or when He has followed through on His promises.

Over the past year, however, I have learned something else that to add to that list. The Lord also is Someone to depend on. Yes, elementary Christianity I'm sure. It probably rides very close along the lines of Him being faithful. But for me...in my life...it takes on something entirely different. Those who know me know that I am a very independent person who rarely asks for help. I do have a hard time delegating or even asking people to help with simple tasks. As of late though, all that has changed. In November 2009, a slow changed started to take place in me. Since that time, I have learned that it is okay to ask for help. People won't think you're weak, unintelligent, or not capable of anything. I've become very dependent on other people helping me with things and accepting help when offered. And yes, I have learned to depend on the Lord more too.

Today, I was doing an activity that I've done for years. It should be like second nature to me and I am comfortable doing it. But in the middle of it, I suddenly couldn't go on. All that was in me wanted to stop what I was doing and walk away. I was literally to the point of tears while doing this. But I kept on. It hit me later...much later...that it wasn't me. That I had some help. The Lord then reminded me that I can be dependent on Him. There was no way I was going to finish what I was doing.

Talk about a slap in the face. I know that is what He has been teaching me and I totally forgot. Why?

Because I was wrapped up in what I was doing and how I could fix it. Plus I was thinking about the rest of my day and how I was going to get through that.

Then, tonight during the Well, Mark took a moment for us all to slow down. Actually before that, he had prayed about all that we do giving glory to God. Which I was totally praying too. Because I want to give Him glory and this thing I was doing is a way of giving glory. Anyway, Mark had us take a moment to stop and be still. That's when it really hit me. I go and go and go. When do I ever stop? I mean, someone mentioned to me earlier this week that they had never seen me "chill" and other friends told me they assume the only time I'm "chill" is when I'm sleeping...which is true. I go high speed all the time. Well, it was during this time that I realized what the Lord did for me. It hurt burned a little...okay, a lot.

On the way home, I was reminded about a song by Watermark called "Mended". The chorus says:

You've got all things suspended
All things connected
Nothing was forgotten
'Cause your love is perfect
You are our healer
And you know what's broken
And we're not a mystery to You


and I totally realized that HE has a plan. Which, again, I know this. Then it got to the second verse which says

We will dance 'cause you restore the wasted years
and You will sing over all our coming fears

"Restore the wasted years"...good grief, how much of my life has been wasted by going high speed all the time?

"You will sing over our coming fears"...yup. That one hits home too. Definitely have a fear about the situation.

But wait, it's not over.

The bridge talks about how the Lord mends everything and gives us His best when we thought we had better. And here's the kicker. The next line is "You are to be praised"

That's what I want my life to reflect. I want to have a life of praise...and I'm learning that when I am dependent on Him that I praise Him more and more.

So right here, right now in the midst of my fear I am stopping and giving it up. I am depending on my God who is Faithful and a Healer. I know He will not fail me and He has a plan. All I need to do is slow down, be still, and wait. This entire thing is in His hands. I know that some how, some way it will bring Him glory.

I am not a mystery to Him.

Never Been One For Luck

Thought: what's the point of lucky clothes? really?

I have never been one to have a lucky pair of socks or shirt, but let me tell you, this new hoodie is nothing but luck.

never would i have thought, in a million years, that i would have a lucky article of clothing. but i do. there is something special about this hoodie. i knew from the moment i tired it on that it would be great. it fits perfect. and its comfortable.

i find it ironic that at the beginning of the year this new hoodie and i are starting things off with a bang. it really has been a great 11 days of 2010. i'm so excited to see what the rest of the year has in store.

the only major question i have is if i should wash this hoodie or not. i mean, it could lose the luck...right?

or maybe it will get luckier with each wash??

2010

thought: new year; new me.

..at least that's what i should be thinking right? aren't people supposed to make resolutions and change at the beginning of the year? i never have.

this year is going to be different though. i can tell. it started off different.

actually, i was a bit pissed when it started off. some people that i was supposed to hang out with basically bailed out on me. i thought it was going to be a sucky new year. but, i had the best time of my life. never have i laughed so much in one night. the people i was with were great. i love them all.

i've learned that when you try too much to please people, you end up failing...not them...but yourself. thats the worst part i think. when you feel like you put so much time into someone and then they back out on you. the cool part about that is that when it happens, sometimes, other people come along and unexpectedly have your back. so cool.

in that respect, i am changing. i'm not going to put so much time into people.

i guess with that being said, i'm going to spend more time focusing on myself (got some yoga/pilates and cycling gear for Christmas!) and volunteering. i got asked the other day if i would be interested in teaching an english as a second language course. i'm excited.

with the onset of 2010, i've become more punchy...sassy...whatever you want to call it. it's a new me i guess...and i'm not even putting that much effort in.

just need to be careful. i don't want to lose my friends and i don't want to become a jerk. however, i also am tired of people's crap. why should i listen and take their junk? seriously, i have better things to do.

i'm stoked about 2010. it's been a great first 5 days. maybe, i will be better about blogging this year. i've had this one for a year. whoo-hoo!

let's kick 2010 off the charts. best year ever.