look out for the one on the left

thought: girls are vicious

...and competitive...and will take you out if you get in their way.

seriously, inside every woman is this sense of competition with one another. when we are young, do don't realize it's there. but the older we get and the more aware of it we are, the worse it gets. for real. i began to notice this a few years ago. it hit me that all women see each other as competition. once i realized that, it did make life easier...and it was easier to spot it within myself and to catch it.

why? because this competition brings on bitterness, jealously, and ruins friendships. really is it worth a friendship to be in competition with another chick? no. trust me, i've been down that road. it's not fun and leaves you feeling alone.

lately, i will admit, i've been feeling a bit of competition. i've never felt it like this before. and every time i do, i slap myself on the wrist and tell myself to get a grip. i have no reason to feel this way - really i don't. so why do i drop into them? well, no one is perfect. thankfully i am reminded that my time will come...that is what i tell myself all the time now. that phrase is plastered in my mind. as i'm learning to be patient, i'm also learning to surrender more and more of my life to Him.

yes, i've grown up in church and know that i must do this...but i keep finding new areas that i need to give up. He has a plan...and it will be amazing when He decides to show me more of it...it's all in His timing. He has not failed me thus far...

and until that time, i need to stop thinking so foolishly and focus. i am here to do His work not to play some stupid girlie game in which i snuff out my opponents to win a "prize" (even though we all know i could totally win....what? i couldn't help it...) c'mon, i have more to live for than that...He has placed me here for more than that.

but what about the other girls who see me as competition and try to snuff me out? i will be nice to them and love them as best i can. as long as i'm myself and don't fall into those games, who can fault me?

and if i get snuffed out, i get snuffed out. so be it. my time will come. i will know when that time is. as i patiently wait, i will not play the competitive girlie games....at least i will try not to...it's so hard...yes, it is easier said than done!

but He will not let me fail....