my time will come

thought: being patient just plain sucks

the other day i was praying over a matter that i will not disclose...but i am sure that you can take a guess...oh shoot, i will just tell you...yes, it was about a boy..guy..man..whatever...i was praying about my future (not with this guy...it wasn't one of those "oh let him marry me" things...i did that before and well, that's a whole different blog!). anyway, i was praying and being frustrated because that is what you do when you are single and young and wanting to do more with your life than what you are currently doing. when, while driving to lunch, that my time will come...

...and when it does, it will be amazing!

so that got me to thinking about patience. i am not a patient person. some may think that i am, but that is because i work with kids and have learned the art of being patient. when it comes to my own life, however, i like to be in the know and going high speed most of the time...if not high speed then knowing what i am going to do next (combine that with a person who loves being spontaneous and you get a hot mess...quite amazing how my brain works sometimes!). i decided to google quotes about patience and after going through a few websites, i decided to post some that i found to be my favorite...

Patience and passage of time do more than strength and fury.
- Jean de la Fontaine

Patience, that blending of moral courage with physical timidity.
- Thomas Hardy

People in a hurry cannot think, cannot grow, nor can they decay. They are preserved in a state of perpetual puerility.
- Eric Hoffer

Never think that God's delays are God's denials. Hold on; hold fast; hold out. Patience is genius.
- Comte de Buffon

...i think this is my favorite:
The slow rhythm of waiting.
- Adrian Cowell

Some of these hit home...really hit home...but they all speak to me...

but what does the Bible say about patience? a quick look in my concordance and it looks like most of the passages deal with waiting on the Lord. which is what i'm doing right now. you see, i told Him that I want to finish school completely before I even think about starting another relationship...and while I know that is only a few months away, I also know that it will seem like forever...especially if i'm interested in someone. so what do i do?

I wait.

and, secretly, i have prayed that it will wait until then..as much as i don't want to wait...i know that it will be the best thing for me...and i already talked to Him about this. we talked about it a year ago. He knows where I stand and I think I know where He stands...it's hard with the Lord sometimes. especially if you don't take time to listen. anyway - i am waiting for my time.

it wasn't really until last year that I got the desire to get married. I always knew that it would happen but I never really thought it would. I have always been very career minded and independent. i wanted to be Jennifer Lopez in the Wedding Planner. Work, work, work, go home, have a cute apartment, maybe a dog, workout some, and then work, work, work some more. I knew that I would be happy. But then last spring/summer, something changed. I began to watch all of those wedding shows and started to plan a wedding in my head (what? all girls do.). I knew that it would happen and I couldn't wait. I thought I met the guy...but turned out it was only a step in the process. Now, here I am a year later, still wanting to get married, but this summer, I got hit with the desire to be a mom.

Yes. That's right. I can't wait to have kids.

Actually, let's back up. In the spring, I got the "I want to have my own house to come home to. A place I can raise a family, decorate, and entertain in" bug.

Then I got hit with the desire to be a mommy. I know that one day I am going to have kids and have an awesome family.

That got me wondering what the learning process for that one will be like. I mean really, there was a lot of heartache over the getting married one...not bad heartache, just frustrating heartache. But there was also a sense of peace in the entire situation.

So here I am. Trying to be patient. Waiting on His timing. Going through my days wondering when it's all going to happen. For someone who likes to go, go, go, this is difficult. But I am also loving the fact that I am slowing down and enjoying the time and the moments. They are all very precious to me!

OH! Speaking of timing, my friend that I wrote about in my last post, spoke to the person she was "hooked on" that very night I blogged. it was all in His timing. mind you, it had nothing to do with the blog...just a coincidence. but, she told this person she was praying for them and the Lord definitely took control of the situation. it's so amazing how He works.

I stand in awe of Him all the time...I stand in awe and I wait...I will wait and be patient. Why? Because when my time comes, it will be amazing.